Expectations - ugh.
I would love to say something profound and important about expectations, but I’m at a loss.
Are expectations good or bad?
What does it mean to expect something?
It’s yet another area where our beliefs take center stage. Expecting is a belief in how something or someone, should or will be.
I’ve managed my expectations. I’ve intended my expectations. I’ve communicated my expectations. I’ve suffered when expectations weren’t met.
I’m suffering due to my expectations right now, honestly.
I expected this writing challenge for myself to be epic. I expected that it would all flow and be profound because I finally un-caged myself. I am writing without curating or editing myself out so I expected some sort of successful outcome.
Aaahhh… but there it is.
The expectation itself says I’m attached to a certain outcome. By expecting this writing to open magical doors to my success and yours, if it doesn’t produce that, I am disappointed and it has failed (fyi – the fact that I didn’t automatically say I had failed is jaw-dropping – just sayin’).
This expectation turned out to be a ‘bad’ thing because of my belief about what the outcome means about me, my writing, what I’m meant to do in the world, and the people reading and following along - or not.
I started this as an adventure without expectations other than to share my journey and maybe help others. Now, almost a week in, I’m suffering because it’s not meeting an expectation I intentionally did not set. Feeling crazy or lost, yet?
In case you didn’t recognize it, Eggo is driving again.
She hijacked my experiment and contorted it by sneaking in these expectations and beliefs about it?!
Sneaky, clever, Eggo.
She’s snuck in conditions and rules in the form of expectations.
She expects engagement from the experiment.
If ‘people’ don’t comment or have reactions, I’m a loser. Or, I’m an annoying know-it-all who gets preachy.
If ‘people’ DO engage, I’m a rockstar who is now obligated to serve indefinitely to keep people happy and served.
The dang thing about these expectations is that Eggo sets up no-win scenarios.
Either I am a loser that nobody wants and I should stop trying to help.
OR, I’m a winner that is now trapped in the cage of success.
Is there door #3, please?!
What might my soul say about expectations?
Expect from yourself, not others.
Thank you, Self.
As usual, my soul doesn’t use full sentences. She impresses on me. She feels and knows.
This experiment was soul-led. An adventure to see if this format would be an avenue to help others; learn more about myself in the process. My expectations were about how I would show up - authentically.
I expected myself to follow through, be consistent, be honest and kind.
I expected to follow my intuition and inner knowing about what to share and explore with you all.
I expected a finish point, precisely so Eggo didn’t get wrapped around the axle and make it MEAN something about me.
Now that Self is driving again, it becomes clear.
Eggo is convinced she can control things outside of herself; control the outcome. This is why she suffers.
When I (Self) am driving, the ride itself is the fun. I even enjoy observing Eggo and her ministrations (most of the time)
Life is meant to be LIVED, not curated.
For myself, I have now concluded that expectations, like so many other things, are neither good nor bad. Where they are coming from, what is motivating them, and what they are attached to will determine their quality.
Now that I am back in the driver's seat, following my soul-path, Eggo is sitting in the passenger seat with her arms folded and a pout on her face - haha - I do love her tenacity.
Today, I expect to complete my experiment. I expect myself to learn from it. I expect to follow my inner guidance and I will know if I am following that by how I feel (good = open flow, bad = closed flow).
When I wake tomorrow, it’s a new start, a new adventure and I expect myself to remember to enjoy the ride.